When you are a kid (When's the end of that?) you can de everything and be everyone.

Growing up (Aren't you just waiting for growing up to be over already?) is most often associated with letting go of these things. Why is that? Well, because, you are slowly understanding things like friendship and love and hate, but also the concepts of death and regret - growing up means you will die. Someday.

Besides death, we fear regret the most, so in order to make sure that you do not die after regretfully having wasted your time on wonderfully imaginative stuff, you find yourself a steady job with a steady income to steadily and surely head towards dieing.

mood? contemplative music? The Brilliant Green - Ash like Snow

haha)) i'm excited - waiting for my t-shirt design to get approved or discarded!!!

check it out:::

where? right part of my humungous desk mood? excited tags: dandelion, design, t-shirt, tanpopo

Yesterday Mando Diao rocked the Palladium in Cologne, Germany, with unbelievable energy, charm and a great show.

The concert hall wasn't packed to burst - and it could have been as the tickets had sold out over two months ago - which made the show even more personal and enjoyable.

We got treated to the debut of 'Gloria' and a great playlist made up of a mix of old and new songs.'Dance with Somebody' rocked the obligatory first encore along with 'Long before Rock'n'Roll' ("Long before Mando Diao!"), 'TV and Me', 'God Knows' and 'Down in The Past' - the second time the guys came back out after we'd screamed our throats raw, they played 'Leave My Fire' and 'You've Been on My Mind'. Needless to say that at this point in time the fans were just as tired as the band, but everyone held on and cheered and screamed admirably after a decidedly bad start of concert with a mosh pit and a lot of unwilling participants. The crowning conclusion of things was both singers coming down from the stage, going around saying "Thank you" and just touching hands.
Bonding anyone?

Writing this, I'm listening to the concert all over again on my computer through the concert-data-stick purchased right after the concert. It cost 20€, but it is totally worth the price as the quality is good and the encore is downloadable on 'concert-online.com' for free with the code that comes with the usb drive.

Thank you, Mando Diao!!!♡

I'll go, save up money for the next concert!

where? kitchen table mood? crazy music? Mando Diao live concert tags: cologne, mando diao, palladium

Okaeri. Welcome home.


The warmth of dim afternoon light would spread - or is it just us?


Be reasonable. Do not cry. People dying of hunger and cold - it is not your fault.

So, do not be foolish! You are not the center of the universe,you know. Stop with the self pity,why don't you?

If you have to,indulge yourself more - but stop it. And how about taking more interest in other people for a change!

You're so egoistical. This kind of inner crisis is nothing compared to what some others have to go through.

Can't you just gather what is left of your pitiful inner life and overcome this disgusting laziness,this supposed depression!

There is this concept,the real world! Where there are real problems and people!

People,dying of hunger and cold!

And you,you don't even know,nigh understand,what it is you are complaining about!

Be reasonable!


When I come in that would be what I would hear.

I would close the door behind me -


Tadaima. I'm home.


- and silence would spread.

mood? blah music? mtv tags: essay

I tried calling the Wall Street Journal's customer service today,because,after having bought a subscription recently,we started getting three papers instead of one. Key word being 'tried'.

To say that the web site's - through which I tried getting the number - layout is confusing would be overstated,so let me explain it like this: The six different phone numbers listed are five too many for someone who even manages to get lost on the way to school. Now,imagine the extent of my absentmindedness.

Having tried all those numbers with none of them working or at least not working long enough for someone at the other end to pick up,I tried again and felt phenomenally relieved when I got through at last! (I shouldn't have bothered....)

A woman's voice greeted me with something along the lines of 'Wall Street Journal, customer service.How may I help you?'. Of course in English - it was Wall Street Journal Europe I had been calling,after all.
I cheerfully relaid my dilemma to her,delighting in the chance to practice my English language skills.

All happy feelings came to a screeching halt when she answered with: 'So let me get this straight.You've got a subscription to get three copies of our newspapers delivered to Germany?'. You know that absolutely incredible voice that involuntarily slips out when people think that you've gone nuts right in front of their eyes? That kind of voice is what made it crystal-clear that I had called WSJ's customer service in America. I felt so worthless right then.

The nice lady talking to me gave me another number to try after I had pathetically complained about not finding the right one online. Sadly it did not work any better than the ones before.

So,completely frustrated,I went to my dad and asked what I had been doing wrong. After all,our phone did not have that stupid '+' prefix (like my mobile does) that most of those numbers have.
Dad said I either had to be kidding or seriously drunk off my ass and was severely disappointed in his most beloved and only child when being told I was serious.

Now,I am wondering just how I managed to forget that there is such a thing as country- and area - codes.

Rounding back to the subject of my post: I'm such a loser....

mood? embarrassed tags: loser

This had me in stitches! Please watch -___^

mood? giggly tags: animation, bunny, pixar

I am having trouble not to overly dramatize this post.My dad just had to go to the hospital.There.It is out of the way now.

The point is,this will probably sound very egoistical,that I am still caught up in all the other moments of (last week/month/yesterday?) the past which still stick with me through the days and evolve into processes/events.That happens sometimes.Maybe it is an 'artist thing'.

One such moment happened the week before last;it holds a strong childish feeling of petulance and helplessness connected to a graduation trip to London and a great dislike for most of my grade's english class.

The next one is a blur of London,an up and down of color with the music I am listening to now mixed in.It carries a positive feeling of a long walk,breaking rules and meeting fundamentally different people.

On the day before my last one in London happened several moments-which-expanded-and-hung-on.

In an overall mood of freedom and laughter I remember being told to say 'I am an artist.' like I meant it,a squished car ride with music in my lap and loose thoughts in my head and a band of friends all around;some sweet kisses tasting of cigarettes.

Where is the sense in losing all the above and letting 'dad' and 'hospital' set into my head?

I think "whatever happens,happens" (just where did I read that?) is a fitting saying.Then again,what I do and what I do not do is still up to me and when my father comes back or I go to see him I would like to have more to say than 'I was so busy worrying that I didn't do anything...';I would like to tell him something else.Give him a moment of my own life to expand on,so to speak.

where? beside my coffee-cup mood? ...calm tags: memory

I remember that day in old-fashioned wallpaper and with a velvet, textured sofa.

My great-grandmother lying on it,taking up very little space on it,dead in never ending sleep.

This is not how it had happened.I know that for sure.I was not home that day.I had not gone home for a very long time by that point,but that is another tale and to make it short:During that period of my life I lived and returned to my grandparents'.

I think that I had hated her in between the periods of time of liking her and then again that might have been what my,still childish- still child- mind had made up when,years after her death,I started waking up crying with her on my mind not knowing why.

I think I had loved her- when there had been no tears and unconditional acceptance of her demise from that child who I am I had already been separated from father for what I was convinced had to be what the adults called eternity and great-grandma was just somewhere else as well.

Adults who think like that are thought to be in denial,but when you are little denial is normal- not unhealthy.

mood? lethargic music? ソノダバンド　ー　僕の知らない場所 tags: memory

I always feel cold and light when I haven't slept...

It's like addiction so sweet.. Only then can I feel my blood sluggishly move through my veins and my every bone ache.

And so, I am content and calm. This world is hazy then and the sunlight not harsh. Only the sharp warmth of my teacup held against my chilly cheek (when did it get so cold?) sweetly penetrates my mind.

And so, I scribble poetry in small sentences, reminiscent of a pigeon's little fluttering wings on grey, dawn-lit mornings. That is my favorite kind of light as it reminds me of rainy days and sleepless nights-
I always feel cold and light when...

This is just a little something I'd written about a year ago)) I was it lying around and got the urge to post it online.So there :P

mood? intoxicated tags: me myself and i

please don't eat my ipod! Dx...

but i really wanted to!



( click for more...*__° )

mood? accomplished music? claude vonstroke~who's afraid of detroit tags: friends, holiday, summer